I’ve spoken candidly and openly about my struggle to find my place in this season of mothering little ones and mothering a business.

December 15, 2016 was the day our kids let out of school for the holidays. I had so much work and I felt ragged. I was drowning in emails and texts, and notifications and guilt.

Guilt about having to work during the holidays while they were home and someone else was caring for them. Guilt because this was a choice I made; to have a retail shop with retail hours who depended on holiday sales for a large part of the year’s revenue.

when in doubt choose the kids, there will be plenty of time later to choose work. inspirational quote about motherhood and work quote

So I made a drastic change and decided to quit our retail store despite all the odds and the money I stood to lose. Nonetheless, I felt a great peace about my decision to close Southern Girl General. But I couldn’t wear it proudly. I was ashamed to tell people that I had closed the store. I had quit.

What would they say? What would they think?

That I wasn’t successful? That I had failed? That I had let them down?

Would they even believe me when I said I chose my kids first? Because who does that? Right? I wasn’t even sure I believed it.

I found comfort in sharing the news and confusion with my friends. Perhaps more than I was trying to comfort myself, I was trying to convince myself; that I had succeeded, that I had made the right choice, and that I wouldn’t regret it.

I was so certain I did the right thing, but I was riddled with uncertainty. I felt unsettled about it all.

There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it. Quote by Judith McNaught

I found quiet and peace in the long winter days at home with my kiddos. In that stillness was where I yearned to be. So I stayed. Still.

And waited.

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